August 30

Stop Trying To Find The Right Person and Start Being The Right Person



So much of what we are taught about love is isn’t actually love at all.

It’s really co-dependency.

We are taught this Hollywood, Disney like version of love that says that someone else ‘completes’ you. 

Which by definition means that you were somehow ‘incomplete’ before you met them and that you would become incomplete once again if they ever decided to end the relationship. So now the end of a relationship isn’t simply the end of a relationship, it’s the end of you being a complete person.

We are taught that ‘true love’ means sacrificing anything and everything for the other person. Yet when you really stop and think about it, would ‘true love’ ever really require that? Would it ever require you to give up the essence of who you are, what makes you, YOU?

Is requiring complete sacrifice from your partner really a loving act?

We are taught that somehow life only really starts if and when you find that perfect person. That the rest of your life was simply a pre-amble, an opening scene waiting for the main act to start.

And then of course by implication if that person decides to end the relationship, your real life is over. 

When you slow down and think about it, does any of this sound healthy to you?

Does any of this sounds like ‘true love’?

Can you see, and (as always) can you FEEL how this causes people to act in unhealthy, manipulative and at times toxic ways?

After all if you become incomplete, if you feel you should sacrifice everything and if your life is ‘over’ with the end of a relationship wouldn’t that logically cause most people to act in unhealthy and UNLOVING ways?

Unless and until you truly love you, unless and until you know that are already complete and that your life is a wonderful gift right now, you cannot have a healthy relationship with someone else.

Because only when you don’t require being completed by them, sacrifice from them can you give your love (real love) fully TO THEM without strings attached.

This is when love stops being a trade, a set of covert contracts.

This is why the answer to true happiness and ironically true love comes from working on yourself.

Because then you become happy no matter what.

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